This is the last time I would fall!
RAR RAR RAR. I never get away with emoism, so pardon me. I'm a lot better now! Thank you all and for your tiny little thoughts and concern, I really appreciate it! Thanks to Kel, Su and Lix the most! :)
Hmmm, I felt pretty neglected and was at my lowest, really so down I can't even comprehend my feelings. My best friend 'ditched' me, hahaha. Band, school work, ecetera, ecetera. I think last Wednesday? My dad had a minor accident but still he was admitted to the hospital and needed 3 stitches. He was afflicted when a flying piece of glass slit past his chest. That night was pouring. I was worried sick about my family and I could hardly sleep. How could I sleep??? Was a very bad day indeed. And the following was worse. Sigh, sorry to abandon the team, I know, I really suck BAD when I'm on court or anything that has do with BALLS. Real bad, I felt like some useless faggot sitting on the ground and not helping out. So, I left them. Didn't want others to see how pathetic I was? Mmmm... And something that has been troubling me.. I can't lift it off my chest. I don't understand why either. I swear I was in my saddest state, ever. I could really feel the fall again.. Strangely, my tears never fall?
Haven't seen best friend since the start of January, and it's already the 13th today! Sigh, Prolly too caught up with her family, work and boyfriend. Sigh. Drifting apart? I don't know... I don't blame her at all, because at times, I get so caught up with school, activites and band.. The moment I step into my cosy little home, I just want to slap myself back to bed. I'm so tired.. : ( Like who's not? Right? I can't afford to sleep early though, because of the project work, tutorials.. ra-ra-blah-blah. SIGH. We get so caught up with life we just forget what is important to us? Be it friends or even our family?? Or am I giving too many excuses to avoid the world? Seriously, I'm not avoiding anyone!! I wouldn't want to avoid any of my dearest friends. But but.. I'm just so sick of everything.. And I really don't get why everything have to crash down at the same time?! I just wish to be alone, sometime? Or someone, be there whenever I need you? Whatever.
The rainfall never fails to make me emotional. It's exactly like seeing yourself crying all by yourself. Just by staring into it, I can't help but think back about the URG-SHITTY-PAINFUL past. Just wish to let the pain go once and for all, but I can't seem to do it? Someday, I know I will. Maybe? Hmmmm.... This life of mine's so listless. I've lost all my motivation to do anything. Don't know how long will it take for me to pick up the pieces. It's really all your fault. Can't believe I would end myself in such a tragic state...
Hmmm, I felt pretty neglected and was at my lowest, really so down I can't even comprehend my feelings. My best friend 'ditched' me, hahaha. Band, school work, ecetera, ecetera. I think last Wednesday? My dad had a minor accident but still he was admitted to the hospital and needed 3 stitches. He was afflicted when a flying piece of glass slit past his chest. That night was pouring. I was worried sick about my family and I could hardly sleep. How could I sleep??? Was a very bad day indeed. And the following was worse. Sigh, sorry to abandon the team, I know, I really suck BAD when I'm on court or anything that has do with BALLS. Real bad, I felt like some useless faggot sitting on the ground and not helping out. So, I left them. Didn't want others to see how pathetic I was? Mmmm... And something that has been troubling me.. I can't lift it off my chest. I don't understand why either. I swear I was in my saddest state, ever. I could really feel the fall again.. Strangely, my tears never fall?
Haven't seen best friend since the start of January, and it's already the 13th today! Sigh, Prolly too caught up with her family, work and boyfriend. Sigh. Drifting apart? I don't know... I don't blame her at all, because at times, I get so caught up with school, activites and band.. The moment I step into my cosy little home, I just want to slap myself back to bed. I'm so tired.. : ( Like who's not? Right? I can't afford to sleep early though, because of the project work, tutorials.. ra-ra-blah-blah. SIGH. We get so caught up with life we just forget what is important to us? Be it friends or even our family?? Or am I giving too many excuses to avoid the world? Seriously, I'm not avoiding anyone!! I wouldn't want to avoid any of my dearest friends. But but.. I'm just so sick of everything.. And I really don't get why everything have to crash down at the same time?! I just wish to be alone, sometime? Or someone, be there whenever I need you? Whatever.
The rainfall never fails to make me emotional. It's exactly like seeing yourself crying all by yourself. Just by staring into it, I can't help but think back about the URG-SHITTY-PAINFUL past. Just wish to let the pain go once and for all, but I can't seem to do it? Someday, I know I will. Maybe? Hmmmm.... This life of mine's so listless. I've lost all my motivation to do anything. Don't know how long will it take for me to pick up the pieces. It's really all your fault. Can't believe I would end myself in such a tragic state...
posted by Jols :) at
12:59 AM
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